in the night

a dreaded hand,
and i am small
shivering

gazing at the window
only the hope of morning
and an end in sight

the tangible headlights of passing vehicles
racing across a ceiling, dark otherwise
with no hint of love

a darkness of heart and skin

i cannot pray
i cannot breathe

and the fear is more than i can  voice,
my voice a forgotten whisper
an aborted child

a cloud dismissed
a vaporous smile

nothing is as solid as a lie
that i am fine
you are fine

we laugh in the sun
because
that is how
recovery starts