tripping over your shoes

had a date the other night. an old friend called up, wanted to have some drinks, play some pool maybe...( not the friend you think, check the phone records since you still don't beleive me) ... so i take the leap, because it must be time, the night mares are so infrequent now. it must be time to venture out into those rushing waters...so i dip my toe in, seal the time and begin to go about getting dressed for an evening out. cat ran up and down the stairs freaking out because she knew what i was up to and she did not like it one bit. took a long bath, washed my hair and picked out matching underthings ( i've decided that never again will my panties not look damn good), thinking better with lavendar steaming my brain i did not shave, but i did powder and perfume places that i haven't paid attention to since you left. freshly laundered and feeling so powerful and girlish, i layered myself with cuteness, cute old top under cute new sweater above cute jeans that make me look less stumpy than i really am...there is something miraculous that happens to a girl when she twirls in the mirror and sees all of her curves are behaving themselves and winking naughty suggestions to her reflection. confidence and assurance abound. jump back, kiss myself-yeow! rushing out the door, suddenly excited to see an old friend under different circumstances i fall flat on my face.

some how after all these months i am still tripping over your shoes. i tripped over you all night long.