Confessional Forum I
Below are confessions sent to me by friends and friends of friends. i'm sure there will be more...
Subject: is this a confessional forum?
Text: This is how I will start…… My life’s goal is to get a smashed penny from every machine in the world that smashes pennies. I listen to 80’s butt rock music wearing a pair of leg warmers and often moshing by my self around my house in nothing but a tie dyed tank top and blue fuzzy slippers. I have and IQ of 119 but dyed my hair dark brown and now it is a 137. I can’t eat off biodegradable plates. Sometimes I have to remind myself to blink. Fun is jumping on a huge trampoline while eating Squeeze cheese straight from the nozzle and humming the Oscar Myer theme song in my head all at once. I can’t tell you if there is a God or not but I would like to believe that in the end everything will work out as it did for Vivian in Pretty Women. I like the way a white head snakes out when squeezed. I have small hands. My eyes turn from blues to green after three days of no sleep. I am Funny and nerdy, but I am outgoing most of the time and a darn level headed person. I work in printing, but have dreams of becoming a radio morning show DJ…………………
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Subject: Is this the confessional forum?
Text: Well where to begin...My life's goal is to play music and get paid enough for it that I don’t have to do anything else. I listen to mope-rock, jam bands, bossa nova, think Paul McCartney should be canonized and dance like a freshly beheaded chicken. My IQ is somewhere between 130 and 140 so I should know better. I can't eat off a plate if whatever I’m eating is messy enough to eat with my hands. Sometimes I like to spend a whole weekend wrapped in the pages of a good book, couch-surf, and feel sorry for myself. I do believe in God and want to apologize on behalf of the whole human race… sorry for fucking up the planet. I like clear blue skies but love a good hard rain. I have a wee fear of ledges. My monkey mind gets me in a lot of trouble. I am totally oblivious and hopeless romantic and have a bit of a love/hate relationship with my impulsive behavior, but I am happy for the most part and an empathetic person. I work in Multimedia, but have dreams of being a carpenter (fat chance on that one). ......
Subject: is this a confessional forum?
Text: This is how I will start…… My life’s goal is to get a smashed penny from every machine in the world that smashes pennies. I listen to 80’s butt rock music wearing a pair of leg warmers and often moshing by my self around my house in nothing but a tie dyed tank top and blue fuzzy slippers. I have and IQ of 119 but dyed my hair dark brown and now it is a 137. I can’t eat off biodegradable plates. Sometimes I have to remind myself to blink. Fun is jumping on a huge trampoline while eating Squeeze cheese straight from the nozzle and humming the Oscar Myer theme song in my head all at once. I can’t tell you if there is a God or not but I would like to believe that in the end everything will work out as it did for Vivian in Pretty Women. I like the way a white head snakes out when squeezed. I have small hands. My eyes turn from blues to green after three days of no sleep. I am Funny and nerdy, but I am outgoing most of the time and a darn level headed person. I work in printing, but have dreams of becoming a radio morning show DJ…………………
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Subject: Is this the confessional forum?
Text: Well where to begin...My life's goal is to play music and get paid enough for it that I don’t have to do anything else. I listen to mope-rock, jam bands, bossa nova, think Paul McCartney should be canonized and dance like a freshly beheaded chicken. My IQ is somewhere between 130 and 140 so I should know better. I can't eat off a plate if whatever I’m eating is messy enough to eat with my hands. Sometimes I like to spend a whole weekend wrapped in the pages of a good book, couch-surf, and feel sorry for myself. I do believe in God and want to apologize on behalf of the whole human race… sorry for fucking up the planet. I like clear blue skies but love a good hard rain. I have a wee fear of ledges. My monkey mind gets me in a lot of trouble. I am totally oblivious and hopeless romantic and have a bit of a love/hate relationship with my impulsive behavior, but I am happy for the most part and an empathetic person. I work in Multimedia, but have dreams of being a carpenter (fat chance on that one). ......
posted by Lil McGill
1 Comments:
Who in the hell wrote this crap!??! Must have been some sort of jackass. A "carpenter", jeez.
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